Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
