You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
