Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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