I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
