Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
