i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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