no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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