Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize