That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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