Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
