so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
did you just send me my own nude
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
