yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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