come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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