Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
