The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize