Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
