I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
