i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
