Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
