Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
