so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
