I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just saw a hot homeless man
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
