Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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