her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
