You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
