But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
