He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
