Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
