I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
where are my eyebrows?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
