Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
