Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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