Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
