My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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