i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
