i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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