White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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