i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
