maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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