you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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