Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
