he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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