so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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