Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
