that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
