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glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
