i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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