i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
