Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
