No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
