Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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