Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
