It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
