dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
