Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
