Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
