That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
