You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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