He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
