I hate all girls vehemently.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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