Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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