My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
