The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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