you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dear god my vagina.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
