So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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