My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Randomize
