8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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