Swine flu. Run for my life!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
