I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
